Toothsome Family

In This Life I Shall Have Joy

2012-01-28T09:54:00.000-08:00

This is one of the best articles on joy I have read.

“In This Life I Shall Have Joy”
(Moses 5:10)

ELAINE S. MARSHALL

Elaine S. Marshall was dean of the BYU College of Nursing
when she gave this Women’s Conference address
at Brigham Young University on 30 April 2004.
© Brigham Young University. All rights reserved.
Complete volumes of Speeches are available wherever LDS books are sold.
For further information contact:
Speeches, 218 University Press Building, Provo, Utah 84602.
(801) 422-2299 / E-mail: speeches@byu.edu / Speeches Home Page

I was with three of my dearest friends, who asked about the title of this talk. As I struggled to remember, they tried to help: “Finding Joy Today”; “Joy in This Life”; “Joy Today, Gone Tomorrow”; “Where is Joy? Joy Who?”

My friend Madlyn finally said, “‘There’s No Joy in Mudville.’”

“That’s it!” I said. “That’s the title! ‘There’s No Joy in Mudville.’”

I have learned that, regardless of circumstance, for some people there is no joy; for others there is only joy. Some of us experience catastrophe in our lives; others create catastrophe in our lives. For some, there are a few bad days; for others there are only bad days.

This week I was reminded of one of those Mudville days. Honestly, I don’t remember if all of these things happened on the same day—they all blur together in a fog on the joyless treadmill. But they really happened in proximity close enough to count as a bad day. I had finished long hours at work with a steady stream of student problems, faculty conflicts, and overdue reports. At home kids needed help with school problems, friend problems, and romance problems. We were living in our basement, ten months into a six-week remodeling project. We were out of cat food, so the cat was mad. But we were also out of what my son calls “human food,” so the cat had to get in line. I mistakenly dropped a tax-refund check in the trash, which had gone to the street for the next day’s collection, so the neighbors got to watch me rummage through my own garbage like a vagrant bag lady. Then, at the worst moment, the right front tire on my car was flat to the rim.

Sometime during all this, I made some soup for a family in our neighborhood. It was now after 10 at night, but I decided this was the only time I could deliver my pot of compassionate service. I convinced my husband that he should help me take it to a family where the father was very ill. I knew someone would still be up. So I held the soup in my lap while my husband drove the car, with the tire now repaired by AAA. (You think I am going to say that I spilled the soup, don’t you? Well, I didn’t! For this talk, there has to be some joy in the story.) I tiptoed to the porch and nudged my shoulder against the front door and knocked gently. I cautioned my husband to be quiet, thinking that a quiet interruption in the middle of the night somehow was more like charity.

From inside I thought I heard the doorbell ring and chided my husband, “I told you, don’t ring the doorbell!” Then I heard it again. “Stop it,” I said. He just looked at me with a blank face. I thought I could hear the doorbell ringing again and again. Finally, the granddaughter came to the door. “Hi,” I whispered. “Sorry we are so late; we won’t come in. We just wanted to let you know that we are thinking about you. I hope we didn’t disturb you.”

“Thank you,” she said patiently, as she nudged me away in what I thought was going to be hug. As she pushed, she said, “You are leaning on the doorbell!” It was the end of a perfect day according to my personal mission statement, “No good deed goes unpunished—there’s no joy in Mudville.”

I also know of the days when washes of grief or despair nearly drown you; when it is all you can do to wake up and breathe one more time. I have had days like that. Following a turbulent marriage and the loss of my son, we had months and years of days filled with pain and stress and hassles.

Are you willing to pull your own handcart, but some days it feels like everyone else has climbed into it? The whole burden is yours, with everyone depending on you to pull and no one to share? You wonder, “Where is the joy in this life?”

On those days, whether bleak with despair or just full of last straws like leaning on the neighbor’s doorbell, “there is no joy in Mudville.” Do you feel like Casey at the bat, when the whole town waits with baited breath? It’s the last inning; the score is 4 to 2; two men are on base; and two strikes are already against you. Everything depends on you, and, like Casey, you are poised to swing one more time to hit the ball with a crack. But instead the ball passes, and you swing with futility at the wind. Ernest Thayer’s poem ends:

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;

The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,

And, somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;

But there is no joy in Mudville—mighty Casey has struck out. [“Casey at the Bat”]

Do you feel like you have “struck out”? Are there days when you feel like joy is a doctrine that pertains only to the hereafter? How do we sustain a joyful life? How does one live every day joyfully and keep any semblance of sanity? I have discovered a few principles of finding joy.

Joy Is an Act of Courage

First, to live joyfully you must be brave. True joy is not for the fainthearted. You must decide to be happy. Joy is an act of courage. Joy will not abide until you make a conscious decision to treasure it. Ten years ago one evening in March, I was in the ward kitchen putting pink mints on glass plates for my niece’s wedding reception. The organdy lace wedding apron was barely holding my soul together. I was quietly just hanging on spiritually and emotionally. It was a time in my life of little joy. My mother and her sister were talking together nearby. I heard my aunt ask my mother, “How is Elaine?” Mom responded, “I believe she has made a decision to be happy. She has a garden and flowers in her yard. She sews and writes, and she works hard. She keeps a clean house and plays beautiful music. Her children are doing well. I think she has decided to be brave and to be happy.”

I wept a few tears as I eavesdropped on my mother’s conversation. I was lonely, tired, and grief stricken. I didn’t know if I had made a conscious decision to be happy. But hearing my mother’s hopeful description of me, I wanted it to be true. So I did decide to be happy. I decided that night to find joy in every day. It has been difficult. But I was brave. I am not so brave every day, but I do try to remember that joy is a decision that requires courage.

In the book of Moses, we learn that after being driven out of the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve made the decision upon entering this lone and dreary world to have joy. They had lived in a kind of paradise, having no needs, no hassles, no evil. But they learned that in order to have joy, they must know pain. More than that, they learned that to know joy in the face of pain requires courage. They wanted that experience for themselves and for us, their posterity. We read that Adam “blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth,” blessing the name of God as he said, “in this life I shall have joy” (Moses 5:10). “And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad” (Moses 5:11). When Adam and Eve realized the cost of obedience, of enduring sorrow to meet God again, they decided that they would have joy. They made a decision. They were brave. When we learned of the divine plan of salvation before we came to earth, “when the morning stars sang together,” we joined “the sons of God,” and we too “shouted for joy” (Job 38:7).

To Have Joy You Must Be Grateful

After you find the courage to make a decision for joy, the next step is to be grateful. Gratitude is the gateway to joy. How presumptuous we are to question the trials of our lives. We are blessed to be born with the greatest daily comforts of any time or place in history. We are blessed to be here on this day to share in the feast of the word of God. This very morning my eyes caught the photograph of my healthy grandson. I walked past my nostalgic lilacs now in full bloom and watered my pots of new geraniums and daisies. Here in this room are people that I love. Surely I have reason enough for gratitude to open my heart to joy!

On 1 January 2002, I began a daily gratitude journal. (OK, I admit I got the idea from Oprah!) Every day I wrote five things for which I was grateful. I did not miss a day until Easter morning in April. On that morning I was called to be the ward Relief Society president. I believe that the act of being grateful, of thinking every day of five specific things for which I was thankful, helped me to be open to invite the Spirit, to freely love, and to accept the calling with joy.

I found that my gratitude journal filled nearly every day with little things, mostly with daily joys of my family. I began to ponder the memories of small moments of joys past. The more I meditated on things for which I was grateful, the more my heart became flooded with moments of joy—funny things my children had said, my Mom making goulash, my husband’s pride at finding tickets to the sold-out opera, spreading with a kiss my ward’s sisters quilt on a dear friend who was dying. From a daily focus on gratitude sprung a daily dose of joy.

Joy Requires Forgiveness

Even in the face of such daily joys, some of us suffer chronic sorrow or anger toward others who have hurt us. Joy requires forgiveness. Has your life been changed by pain of an event, loss, or action of your own or another? Is there a moment or a decision that you regret, that you want to take back and start again? Go to the Lord, forgive yourself, and let it go. Has someone hurt you? Take it to the Lord, find help to heal, forgive, and let it go.

Forgiving is not forgetting. The memory of the pain will always linger. It is because you remember that you must forgive, in order to allow joy into your life. Forgiving is not excusing or tolerating wrong or sin or living with hurtful behavior. Hold the person appropriately accountable, take appropriate action—then forgive. Do it for yourself. Give it to the Lord, find faith in the Atonement, and let it go. To forgive is not easy. It extracts all the strength you have. It requires practice over and over. But there is healing comfort in forgiving, and it frees the soul to welcome joy.

Joy Comes from Service

It is not enough simply to forgive others. Joy requires that we take the next step to serve others. I feel like I am on 24-hour call to serve others at the moment. I am a wife, mother, grandmother, ward Relief Society president, nurse, and dean. My friend Martha recently sent me a note that asked, “If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the othershere for?” The “others” in my life expect me to be wise, helpful, organized, professional, and to have all the answers. May I share a secret? I don’t have a clue! You know how it is. I make it up as I go!

My sister introduced me to The Daffodil Principle, by Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards. It is an enchanting story of a woman who planted 50,000 daffodil bulbs on a hillside over 35 years. She says she did it “one at a time. One woman, Two hands, two feet, and very little brain” until she filled five acres of a San Bernardino mountainside. Every spring it is a gift of joy: given one bulb at a time (The Daffodil Principle [Salt Lake City: Shadow Mountain, 2004], 23).

I know that you know, only too well, that when you take the time to serve another in time of need, when you unexpectedly wave and smile to the jerk who cut you off in traffic, when you surprise your daughter by cleaning her room, when you make those carbohydrate-killer potatoes for the funeral, you nearly always feel a little burst of joy, a sense that God is in His heaven and all is nearly right with the world.

Joy Requires Your Presence

In order to know joy, you have to be there. Joy requires presence. My friends know that if I were not too stingy to buy personalized vanity license plates for my car, I would choose my favorite word. The word is vivace. Vivace is an Italian word used in music. It sounds like music. It means life, lively, quickening. It sounds alive. It reminds me to wake up, to be acute and sensitive, alert, alive. It means vitality, la joie de vivre, vibrance, vigor. It reminds me to touch the palpable gift and reality of life.

Joy often lights in little fairy twinkles. I call them angel gifts. They are fleeting moments of sparkling enlightenment, like gentle kisses of meaning when everything comes together. They are little heavenly glimpses of eternal joy. Joy can happen quickly, so you have to pay attention.

If you are not present in your life today, you will miss the joy as it happens. We cannot change the hurts of the past, but we can let go of the grudges and reflect today on past joys. We won’t recognize joy in the future if we don’t practice noticing it today.

I once heard Annie Dillard say, “Grace happens anyway; the least we can do is be there.” The least we can do is be there in our own lives. It is not enough to simply take breath. We must live every moment of life. We must find the joy that is there to be had anyway. This life today is part of our eternal life and a time to practice knowing eternal joy.

The Message of the Atonement Is a Message of Joy

The message of the Atonement is a message of joy. Our Savior knows our suffering. He took upon Himself our suffering that we might have joy. Joy is life. To have joy is to live life fully. The meaning of the Resurrection in our own daily lives is that He lives! He lives, and because He lives, we live. This truth brings meaning, purpose, and joy to our lives. It gives us a reason to get up every morning even in times of despair, to laugh with abandon, to embrace life. The good news of the gospel is for each of us to live. To live is to know joy in our own personal lives, every day, every now.

We don’t live only after we die. We don’t find joy only in the hereafter. We live today because of His gift of the Atonement. To live anew, repent, and begin again are gifts from our Savior. We can live again every day. Some days are exhilarating; some days are exhausting. Some days are full of pain and others are full of grace. I get up every day and say aloud, “OK, I am going to try this just one more time . . .”

The Atonement allows us every day to try one more time. For a while after the death of my son, this principle did not matter to me. It didn’t matter if I died. I might have wished it. All I knew was his absence. The void without him was all there was. I had no sense of where he was or if he was. All I knew was that he was gone.

But the greatest gift of the Atonement is that it is real and there for us regardless of the state of our testimony. Whether we believe it or not, it is true. The Savior lives. His Atonement allows us to try again, to repent, to have hope, and to live. He suffered, died, and rose again for us, regardless of where we are in our belief or doubt about that reality. Sorrows and losses will come. We will sin and regret and need to try again. We will be hurt and need to forgive again. We will grieve and need to find joy again. We must help each other to remember the gift of life, that “men [and women] are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25; emphasis added). Our very existence today is to know joy.

That night with the wedding mints, hearing my mother’s conversation, I made a decision. Perhaps it was not a decision but a gift. But I decided that since I cannot die, then I must live. If I must live, then I am going to live fully, embrace life, and engage in each moment. I have little patience for those who are not engaged. I have little patience for those who see some hassles of daily life as matters of life or death (unless, of course they are my own hassles). I have little patience for those who don’t understand my favorite word: vivace.

The Savior lives, and because He lives, we live. It is this life, one day at a time now to forever, in which we find joy. We learn that with Martha on the path to the house of her brother Lazarus as she grieved his death, when the Savior said, “I am the resurrection, and the life” (John 11:25; emphasis added). We learn it with the disciples on the road to Emmaus (see Luke 24:13–32), with Paul on the road to Damascus (see Acts 9:3–5), and with Mary Magdalene at the empty sepulcher (see John 20:17). How many times need He tell us?

The truth, the sacred truth, and our gift of joy is that He lives. Because of the Atonement, we can repent of sin and give up our fears and all of those mortal burdens that diminish our life. Because He lives, we must live every day of our eternal life. That includes today. We must live to bear vibrant testimony. We must live in joy. If we, who know the truth of salvation and the truth of the mission of Christ, if we are not the very model of joy in this often thankless world, who is left to show the world what is joy? If we do not have joy, who will?

Let’s move out of Mudville. Let’s practice the joy described so many times in the Psalms: to “be glad and sing for joy” (Psalms 67:4), to “make a joyful noise unto the Lord” (Psalms 100:1; see also Psalms 81:1, 98:6), to “make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation” (Psalms 95:1). With Isaiah, let us say, “With joy shall [we] draw water out of the wells of salvation” (Isaiah 12:3), and “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness . . . as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels” (Isaiah 61:10).

In the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin blessed his people with a promise and assurance we may receive today:

For the Lord hath heard thy prayers, and hath judged of thy righteousness, and hath sent me to declare unto thee that thou mayest rejoice, and that thou mayest declare unto thy people, that they may also be filled with joy. [Mosiah 3:4]

I take this as permission and assurance from God Himself that in this life I may have joy, that joy is a divine principle whose eternal implications may be beyond our understanding but are significant to God Himself. I pray that today and always we may all find the courage, gratitude, forgiveness, service, and presence to honor our divine gifts of joy. “In this life [let us] have joy” (Moses 5:10).

Aerobie Fun at the Park

2012-01-20T12:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, after my kids came home from school, I said, "Tomorrow, we are going to the park whether it is to sled (if there was snow) or just play. But go to the park, we will."

I planned on reading my current book, "The Jungle Books" by Rudyard Kipling while my kid's played but then I remembered my word of the year and decided to join my kids.

Toothsome #1 and I started playing "Playset Aerobie". He climbed all around the playset and I tried to hit him while he tried to catch it. In turn, when he threw it, I had stay in one place, (where the Aerobie landed previously) while he tried to land the Aerobie over my face and into my neck. Below, he is demonstrating the goal.

Trying to take a picture of us together with my iphone.

He was getting ready to throw the Aerobie at me when I took this picture.

Meanwhile, my other kids climbed up these trees. If you look closely, you can see them.

Great Aerobie fun. Way better than a traditional frisbee.

It almost made me forget how upset I am by the lack of snow this year.

BTW: Last night, I hosted my book club. We read, "A Town Like Alice" by Nevil Shute. Wonderful book and wonderful discussion. And, the Kneaders, Raspberry Bread pudding with their vanilla sauce was awesome too.

Word for 2012

2012-01-19T17:01:00.000-08:00

For me, in the year 2012, my word will be

JOY

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy. 2 Nephi 2:25

Joy in looking and comprehending is nature's most beautiful gift. Albert Einstein

Things won are done, joy's soul lies in the doing. William Shakespeare

There is something terribly morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathise with the colour, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life's sores the better. Oscar Wilde

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give. Eleanor Roosevelt

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. Helen Keller

Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day. — Henri Nouwen

Celebration is the conscience decision to live our lives with joy. In the midst of turmoil, pain and adversity, in bad times and good, joy is the great companion our Heavenly Father intended us to have. To feel joy, however, requires a decision on our part--a chosen approach to life, a chosen attitude, a constant awareness . . . To live with real joy we must begin with a personal conviction that we have the ability to change our lives in small meaningful ways. We must feel we can learn better patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing that will allow us to feel better, accomplish more and rise higher. Elaine S. Marshall

Politics: Meet Dan Liljenquist

2012-01-14T12:51:00.000-08:00

Many years ago, I did a study abroad with this man. I respected him them and I respect him now. He has my complete support in this upcoming election. Please, watch the video.

A Few Confessions . . .

2012-01-05T10:28:00.000-08:00

It is the New Year and I always do make New Year's Resolutions. I'm not super "intense" with them but I do make them. But before I list them, I must confess a few things.

First, I married "up". Daily I think, "How did I get this man to marry me?" I haven't made a regular dinner in months, 1/2 the time my head is buried in a book, the house is rarely completely clean (there is always one spot that is perfect, in that every day, I tackle one area completely) and I am way too serious for my own good. We have been married for 14 years this past December. Thank goodness that cute dental student asked me out 16 years ago.

After making fun of this Sock Exchange prize, I wear it almost daily. Honestly, it is so comfortable and the weight of it is just perfect. I am not ready to wear it in public yet (as I accidently did with my slippers at Costa Vida last week) but honestly, I love this thing.

In December, I take a break from my normal reading fare and only read Christmas-themed romance novels. I don't have much time in December to read and light, fluffy, romance novels is about all my brain can take. Well this year, I discovered Robyn Carr (I read one of her Christmas themed books at the start of the month) and I have been reading the whole "Virgin River" series since. I think I have about 4 books left (it is a long series--18 books) and I have loved them. But, there are always about 10 pages that are not just "romance" but go beyond that. I skip/skim those parts but even then, they are pretty smutty and blush worthy. And, I am married woman . . .

Anyway, I apologize to all my Good Reads friends for my book choices in December. I did read "A Christmas Carol" by Dickens too but honestly, I have been trapped in Virgin River. I'm almost done then I will go back to normal reading. I am hoping to finish reading all of Dickens' works in 2012.

My goals:

1. Eat out less, which means cooking dinner more.

2. Exercise at least three days a week, preferably four.

3. Read the the whole Book of Mormon this year. We are also doing this as our one family goal. As part of my goal, I plan on reading the Book of Mormon every day.

4. Be on top of my kid's piano practicing, reading and math facts.

5. Cleaner house, which means less book time. (Which I am fine with, I promise.)

Film Festival

2012-01-02T10:10:00.000-08:00

The last Dentist Husband family event at our house was our annual Film Festival.

(Let me be clear, when we built this house, we had in mind being able to host many Dentist Husband extended family events. I love hosting his family and my family. So it is a great pleasure to be able to be the house that everyone comes to.)

The "movie style" candy. I went a little overboard this year but most of it was 10 for $10 at our local grocery store.

The popcorn

The furniture moved for theatre seating.

The start of the event.

Let me point out, Dentist Husband worked a full week and came home to a house full of his family. He threw on a t-shirt over his scrubs and then started the event.

The "Oscar" made by my father-in-law. As you can see, it is made of bills and change. I think it totals about $50.

After watching all of the movies, my father-in-law and his wife decide the winner.

Below is the reaction of my sister-in-law and her husband after hearing they had won this year. They deserved it. It really was a great film.

I found this on my camera and had to laugh. I was taking a picture of my husband and the Honey Baked Ham and ibuprofen made it in the picture. The Honey Baked Ham became a running joke this Christmas because I brought it out whenever people came over. My brother in law threatened to carve the date in it, so I wouldn't bring it out next year. And, with all of the late nights we have had with family, the ibuprofen became a staple for me and Dentist Husband.

And, when you host the "Sock Exchange", sometimes people leave their winnings at your house unnoticed. This was discovered on our basement toilet seat.

It was a great holiday season. Welcome 2012.

Christmas Eve

2011-12-29T18:16:00.000-08:00

This first picture is actually earlier in the month. This is our annual trip to Thanksgiving Point for my birthday dessert. I'm now 39.

In Christmas Eve's past, we have gone out to breakfast with all of Dentist Husband's family (continuing a tradition from my family growing up). But, our numbers have gotten too big, so Dentist Husband's sister offered to host Christmas Eve breakfast at her house.

Christmas Eve breakfast is usually when we all see each other for the first time during the holiday season. Since most of Dentist Husband's family lives out of state, it is a great reunion to see everyone. This year, we all ate awesome homemade breakfast in my sister-in-law's beautiful home. Breakfast turned to lunch time and then it was 5 pm. Dentist Husband and I were having a conflict about what to do about Christmas Eve dinner. (I wanted our traditional steak and salad while he wanted some Chinese.) Since we had been gone all day, ended up here. Best Christmas Eve dinner ever!

Once home, the kids opened their Christmas PJs.

We watched Luke 2 and then the kids went to bed.

Santa may or may not have forgotten to buy candy for the Christmas stockings. Santa may or may not have had to run to Walgreens at 10:00 pm. The parking lot was packed and the store was super busy. Thank heavens for Walgreens.

Christmas Day

2011-12-29T14:19:00.000-08:00

Santa came

We have called Toothsome #4 "White Buffalo" since she was born. Santa brought her, her own white buffalo.

Toothsome #2 got two kinds of art kits--the real deal and Udraw for the Wii.

Both boys wanted Hypersonic RC cars and Legos.

Toothsome #4 also got these. All four of my kids LOVE them.

After opening presents, we went to church. (I sang in a trio and Dentist Husband and I both were in the Ward Choir.)

Then, just before Dentist Husband's family arrived, Toothsome #4 did this. I was jealous.

We hosted Dentist Husband's family Christmas day fun/meal. People started coming around 2:00 pm and stayed until around 9:00 pm.

Great fun.

Sock Exchange 2012

2011-12-27T14:50:00.000-08:00

Sock Exchange: A white elephant type game, invented by my father-in-law for his children many years ago. Each person (adults only) has about 7 items in their "sock exchange" pile. The items range from useful (syrup, masking tape, windshield wiper fluid) to silly (see below). Each person can protect one item. After an intense "rock, paper, scissors" to determine who goes first, the game begins. You must trade one of your items for another item from someone else. The game is played in a clockwise circle. Once everyone goes once, then the circle is reversed until the person who started the game ends the game. Taunting, teasing, heckling, etc., is allowed and encouraged. If someone takes too long, the group breaks out into singing the Jeopardy "timer" music. Often, a frantic trade is made. Honestly, the sock exchange is a highlight of Christmas in these parts.

Sock Exchange 2012

This year, "As Seen on TV" products played a big part in the game.

Dentist Husband holding "the Forever Lazy."

Africa's Best Super Gro Hair and Scalp conditioner

Toilet Lid sticker (notice the picture is of an outhouse).

Easy Feet--No More Bending required!

The three of us who ended up with the "Forever Lazy" and a knock off "Snuggie." You read that right, it was a "knock off Snuggie", not even the real deal. I am holding up the free pair of socks that came with the "Forever Lazy."

I can't not point out the great marketing on the Forever Lazy packaging. A zippered back hatch! No need to take it off when using the bathroom.

Great for tail gating . . .

A few more Sock Exchange pictures.

My brother in law trying out the Super Hair Gro scalp conditioner. You can't tell but he put it on his upper lip and chin to help grow his facial hair too.

It was a Sock Exchange for the ages.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-21T07:44:00.000-08:00

You may remember this post.

Needless to say, none of those were used.

The above picture ended up being our Christmas card photo. This was taken at my nephew's wedding. My sister (my nephew's mom) while standing in the wedding line and said, "You all match. Let me take a photo or two." FYI: We didn't plan to match. We weren't "in" the wedding per se. We were just there to support my sister and her son. Those are my girl's Easter dresses.

I think she took four photos. I could have used all of them.

It just goes to show, often planning a photo shoot doesn't work as well as a quick unplanned photo shoot.

Merry Christmas. It is lightly snowing here. Honestly, Christmas magic is happening daily in our neck of the woods.

I am glad these people are in my life . . .

2011-12-15T14:04:00.000-08:00

Dentist Husband came downstairs, after church like this. Several years ago, I accidently bought him the wrong sized dress shirt (the sleeves were too long). Instead of pointing out the fact to me, he just wore it. Well, it finally was old enough, he felt comfortable retiring it. But, never to miss an opportunity for comedy, he ripped the sleeves off of it and then came downstairs like this. I laughed and laughed. So grateful for the fun he adds to my life regularly.

These four crazy kids. I am so looking forward to having them home for two weeks for Christmas break. They are great company, make me laugh daily and keep me focused on what is really important in life.

This is many of the members of the girls in my book club. Not everyone could come this night. About 8 years ago, I was invited to join this group of ladies. They have known each other since elementary school and have had this book club for over 20 years. They have welcomed me with open arms into their book club and it is the highlight of my month to meet with these woman. They are smart, funny, loyal, honest woman and monthly I glean great insight from them during our book club meeting. I am so grateful for them too.

(FYI, these were taken at our annual Christmas party. One of the ladies in our group plays for the Bells on Temple Square and we all went to dinner and then watched her perform in their Christmas concert.)

I am so blessed.

I used to be a reluctant Nutcracker Mom

2011-12-13T14:19:00.000-08:00

Many years ago, when I started Toothsome #2 in dance, I did it because I wanted her to have good posture. I have one sister with excellent posture and she was the only one of us who took dance. I decided that was a good enough reason for my child to take dance.

I picked our studio based on the fact that it was close to my house, the owner taught the little girls classes (as opposed to the teacher being one of the girls from the older dance classes like several dance studios I looked into), and it's focus on ballet. In the Fall, Toothsome #2, at the age of four was cast as a "taffy dancer" in The Nutcracker. This studio does The Nutcracker annually and every child that dances in the studio participates in it. They do three performances--Friday night, a Saturday matinee and Saturday night. As a mother, with at the time, two other kids (one being a baby), that seemed like a huge commitment. But, I liked the idea of her participating in it and so we went with it.

Oh the drama (mostly mine) as The Nutcracker rehearsals started stacking up and I realized that my daughter's part was in the 2nd act making her perform after 8:00 pm (her bedtime). I grumbled; I complained; I said more than once that this dance instructor/studio owner was insane. (Sorry Barbara, I was wrong).

Then, came the performance. It was so beautiful! It was so fun! The older girls were beautiful dancers. The owner cast different leads at each performance, so all of the older girls got to have lead parts. Toothsome #2 was entranced the whole time. We couldn't leave after she danced because we had to watch the whole thing. And, because my other kids were boys, I got one-on-one time with Toothsome #2 all weekend, while Dentist Husband had the boys at home. That weekend, I went from reluctant Nutcracker mom to becoming its huge advocate.

I now have two girls. This year, Toothsome #4 got to be in two different scenes.

A cookie

and a Peppermint Stick (with Toothsome #2 being a Russian).

Honestly, Nutcracker weekend has become one of my favorite weekends in December. It is magical. And, I now see it as a true gift from this dance studio to allow these girls to all experience being in The Nutcracker. The owner, her family (her husband always plays Mother Ginger) and many others freely give of their time to make this a wonderful experience. I so love Nutcracker weekend.

Book Review: Faithful, Fit and Fabulous by Connie E Sokol

2011-12-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

This book by Connie Sokol is a great read just before the New Year because it gives simple, easy ideas to improve your life in meaningful ways. I love that the theme of personal responsibility runs throughout the whole book and how once we personally take charge of our lives, after seeking spiritual guidance, we can make big changes.

She uses eight basic ideas to focus on and then gives easy to implement suggestions on how to improve in each area. It is a great, short read that definitely leaves you feeling like you can improve things in your life.

This book can be purchased here. The Kindle version is a steal.

Full discloser: I was given this book to read and review. But I agreed to review it because I was eager to make some simple changes in my life to make things go more smoothly. Having babies 2 1/2 years apart made a lot of sense when they were babies but having school age kids 2 years apart in school is exhausting at times and I was eager to figure out a way to make better use of my time. This book definitely has given me some great suggestions to do just that.

Thanksgiving Point Holiday Lights (My favorite Christmas tradition)

2011-12-06T09:09:00.000-08:00

Last night, we took our kids to see the lights at Thanksgiving Point. It is a Christmas tradition we have been doing for 6 years. We often go more than once. It is a "stay in your car and drive thru the light display" experience. No worrying about chasing after kids, them complaining that it is cold, etc. It was 19 degrees last night.

At the start, we roll down all of the windows, blast the heat in the car, loudly play Christmas music and let the kids lean out the windows to look at the lights. Thanksgiving point has soldiers, penguins, ice skaters, flowers, Santa's workshop, reindeer and this year an Andrew Smith Kinetic ice sculpture. All of the trees are beautifully lit as well.

At end of the lights, there is a beautiful telling of the Savior's birth using billboard sized pictures from Simon Dewey's "This is the Season" children's book.

Afterwards, we park our car and head to see the reindeer.

Then, we go inside and get dinner at their deli. Excellent food.

(Toothsome #3 thinks jazz hands are hilarious right now.)

The inside is decorated for Christmas.

After dinner, we let the kids get 50 cent ice cream cones.

There are also ice sculptures on display. We arrived just as they were finishing making this one.

Honestly, nothing gets me more in the Christmas mood, then going to Thanksgiving Point.

Unrelated, but finally after eight years of living in this house, we finally paid someone to hang Christmas lights on our house. There is no way I was going to have Dentist Husband on our roof. (We need his hands and arms to do dentistry, and not risk breaking them on a potentially icy roof.)

I love this picture. The kids were so excited watching them work.

The finished lights.

Also, my friend Kimmy drastically lowered her prices for her I Chart You genealogy charts. A great in-law Christmas gift, if anyone is looking . . .

Being married to Dentist Husband made my life a lot easier this week

2011-12-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

This picture is unrelated to the this post. I redid the girl's bedroom. This is their new bed frame and comforter. But, Dentist Husband did pay for all of this, no questions asked and did help me measure the room and the furniture about 10 times to make sure they fit. (I love drawers under beds, because it gives extra storage and no dead zone for clutter to collect.)

Anyway, back to the reason for this post. A few days before we left for Las Vegas, Toothsome #1 came home with his Egypt project assignment. He had to do a one page report and a visual aid for this presentation. It was due the Tuesday after we got home. (We got home Sunday night.) I am pragmatic and not artistic. My scrap books are white paper with the pictures on them--no cute cut outs, colors, etc. I hate visual aid projects and with planning on leaving for Las Vegas, driving my kids everywhere, doing scouts, Nutcracker practices, etc., this put me close to tears.

But, not Dentist Husband. Some of his suggestions:

1. I can fill an old milk jug with plaster and you can carve a sphinx out of it.

2. We can go to the store and buy a rotisserie chicken and use the bones and mummify them.

3. Canopic Jars are cool. I sure we can come up with something for that . . .

Then, he says, "I know, let's do something with hieroglyphs."

And, below is what they ended up doing. They went to Dentist Husband's office and poured plaster in cookie sheets. Toothsome #1 found some hieroglyphs on-line, traced them in pencil and transfer rubbed them onto the plaster. Then, Dentist husband let Toothsome #1 use one of his very expensive dental drills and Toothsome #1 carved out the shapes. After that was done, a trip to Home Depot and gold spray paint was purchased and sprayed on the plaster. Honestly, these are incredibly cool.

Lame mom could not have come up with anything close to this.

Here are the kids cutting off the netting from our Christmas tree. This same week, Dentist Husband, after having a very long Monday at work (working late) took all of us to dinner (Costa Vida) and then to Home Depot to get our Christmas tree. He always lets them help him tie the tree to the roof of our mini van, etc.

Again, buying a fresh tree and carting it into the house could not be done by me.

And finally, last night was 11 year old scout night. I always look at the book and see what the boys need to pass off and then text my husband what we are doing that night. Last night was "knots."

Dentist husband walked in the door at 6:55 pm and scouts starts at 7:00 pm. By 7:10, he had the boys all tying knots around chairs. They had six knots to learn and he was there instructing and encouraging them for over an hour. He was telling them about all the fun things you do with knots (water skiing, rock climbing, hunting, boating, camping, etc.) Not only did they have to know how to do the knot, they couldn't pass it off without telling him in what situation would they use that particular knot. He didn't pass off one boy until he knew for sure that they did it all by themselves without his help. It was a great hour in our home last night.

I adore this man.

Viva Las Vegas Thanksgiving

2011-11-28T10:00:00.000-08:00

For many reasons, we decided to do a Toothsome Family-only Thanksgiving this year. And, since my husband, who rarely closes his dental office, closed his office early on Wednesday, so his staff could go home and start their Thanksgiving festivities early, and kept it closed for the rest of the week, we decided to make it an "away" Thanksgiving. After some debate, we ended up on Las Vegas at a two bedroom, Marriott that had a full kitchen.

My kids are not big turkey eaters so we did a pared down meal. I know our meal might have been heresy for some of you but it was well received by the kids. Jenny-O turkey loaf, green salad, freezer rolls, homemade mashed potatoes and Martinelli's sparkling apple cider. And, since nobody likes pie at our house, we had candy bars for dessert.

Later in the day, we ventured out and ended up the Coke store on the strip and tried the "Cokes Around the World". 16 different Coke products from various countries.

We all would take a sip and then give it a thumbs up or thumbs down.

Some were not so good, in particular the Beverly from Italy. Quinine was the main flavor. (If you have read as many WWII books as I have, you will know that quinine was an antimalarial taken by US soldiers who fought in the pacific. They hated it then and now, so did our family.)

On Friday, we went to the Shark Reef at the Mandalay Bay. Toothsome #3 LOVES sharks, even decorating his Christmas tree at school with sharks. He was in heaven.

After telling the kids no souvenirs, Dentist husband surprised them by getting them shark teeth and these extremely discounted moray eel stuffed animals.

We also did plenty of watching TV, swimming in the pool and in my case, standing by the dryer (where it was extremely warm) and reading a book.

And, because we were in Las Vegas, we drove the kids by the Pawn Stars pawn shop. (We don't have cable but this show was on a 24 hour loop one of the days we were there.)

We also took the kids by the various electric signs my husband's grandfather helped create. He was the main man behind Vegas Vic (the waving cowboy).

It was a fun trip. And, yes, we walked in the door from Vegas and my kids went straight downstairs and started getting out the Christmas decorations. My house is almost completely decorated.

Thanksgiving Gratitude

2011-11-22T08:26:00.000-08:00

I have been reading a lot of blog posts about gratitude. It got me thinking about the many (almost countless) things for which I am grateful. And, then I realized there was one piece of advice (big idea really) that I was given several years ago that I use in my life on a daily basis. It is worth sharing.

I attended a Relief Society Enrichment where the speaker was a friend of mine in the ward. She started out talking about how when she is pregnant her morning sickness was not just morning sickness but all day sickness. She then went on to tell a personal life changing story. When she was pregnant with her third child, her husband traveled constantly and her oldest child, who has autism was struggling. She also had an active toddler and her morning sickness was worse than it had ever been and she was at the end of her rope. She called her mom in tears and said, "I don't think I can do this."

Her mom, after listening to her vent, said, "I raised you to know that life was not always going to be easy. You knew that there would be bathrooms to clean, sicknesses to deal with, heartaches and and other such trials. You can't avoid them. But you can control your thoughts when you are going through those things."

She then read this quote: Celebration is the conscience decision to live our lives with joy. In the midst of turmoil, pain and adversity, in bad times and good, joy is the great companion our Heavenly Father intended us to have. To feel joy, however, requires a decision on our part--a chosen approach to life, a chosen attitude, a constant awareness . . . To live with real joy we must begin with a personal conviction that we have the ability to change our lives in small meaningful ways. We must feel we can learn better patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing that will allow us to feel better, accomplish more and rise higher. Elaine S. Marshall

She then talked about when she has to do things she doesn't really like to do (like cleaning a dirty bathroom), she thinks about a favorite vacation she went on as a child. She said, "I don't even really notice that I am cleaning the bathroom because I am not thinking about that. I am thinking about this great vacation."

I went home that night forever changed. Whenever I am faced with things I don't like to do, I think of her advice.

What are some of my tools?

When folding laundry, I often call my mom or sisters and say, "Let's chat while I fold laundry."

I paid $72 annual fee to able to download any of Dr. Laura's radio programs. I commit that when I am listening to Dr. Laura I have to be cleaning. It is amazing how easy cleaning my house is when I am listening to Dr. Laura.

I put on the radio (or my ipod) and sing LOUDLY to whatever is on. If my children are at home, they often join in singing with me.

I give myself a topic and write in my head a speech or talk on that subject. It forces myself to recall scriptures, conference talks I have heard, etc., as I review that topic in my mind.

I memorize poems. "If" by Rudyard Kipling is a favorite. There is so much beautiful poetry out there and it becomes incredibly meaningful when repeated over and over again.

So, in this month of gratitude, I am grateful for the idea of filling my head with good things while I am often doing things I don't particularly like to do. It has been life changing me.

I Chart You

2011-11-18T10:05:00.000-08:00

Several months ago, I was in my friend's house and saw the above pedigree chart on her wall. I instantly fell in love with it and asked her where she got it. She told me her sister and brother-in-law created it for her as a birthday gift. I immediately asked if I could contact her sister and pay her to do one for my family. I had been looking for an attractive way to display this information for several years and had come up empty handed. I knew this was the answer.

She gave me here sister's contact information and I immediately e-mailed her and somewhat persistently asked her if she would be willing to do one for me. I also emphatically pointed out that she needed to open an esty shop because attractive pedigree charts are almost impossible find. Her older sister (my friend) also encouraged her to do so as well.

She agreed to do mine and I am honestly in love with it. There is something so incredibly moving about seeing a family pedigree chart and seeing how the lives of two people are connected. I named three of my four children after direct descendent family members (the fourth is a family name but not a direct descendant) and their names are on this for them to see. This is a very personal piece of art.

Kimmy has now opened an esty shop and you too can own one. You will need to send her five generations (you being the first generation) and if you need help getting that, go here. Or here.

If you have particular color ideas in mind, you can contact her directly and she will do those for you for $50 more. (I sent her pictures of my house in the room I wanted hang the pedigree chart and she came back with a great combination of colors.)

You then own the file and can print it however you like. I had mine done 30x30 on canvas (Costco does it and so does this place. I am sure there are others out there as well.) Again, you are owning a piece of art that is directly personal to you and your family.

And, my husband who loves good design, thinks this is fantastic as well. We are planning on ordering others from her for his siblings and mine as gifts.

Honestly, I am thrilled to be able to share this find with you.

Nutcracker Season is upon us

2011-11-16T13:10:00.000-08:00

This is just one of three costumes my girls will be wearing this year. Oh how I love having ballerinas in the Nutcracker.

Toothsome #3 and the answered prayer

2011-11-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

Toothsome #3 is always into everything. He begs to take everything we own apart and I have taken going to local thrift shops and buying old VCRs, TVs, etc, so he can take them apart.

I honestly feel as his mother, I have been very patient, understanding and supportive of his desire to see and learn how things work but I have my limits and Sunday night, one day before Halloween, I discovered several batteries, that I had put away specially for Halloween costumes, missing. In asking the kids, it was discovered Toothsome #3 had found them and had been planning on using them for an experiment. He said, "I haven't taken them out of the package but I don't know where they are!"

I stood there dumbfounded. I then lost my cool and informed him that he would be grounded unless he found the batteries. (I wasn't completely mean, I told him he would be grounded after Halloween.) With his very sincere face, he nodded and left the room.

I few minutes passed and I happened to walk into the room where he had walked into a few moments before. He was on his knees praying. He was asking for help in finding the batteries. My heart melted. I then started praying that we would indeed find the batteries, so he would know that prayers are indeed answered. We enlisted the whole family and they were found about 20 minutes later in the game closet.

Honestly, I was moved to tears.

12th Annual Pumpkin Carving Contest/Wassail Party

2011-10-31T12:14:00.000-07:00

This post has a lot of pictures, for which I apologize but this is a favorite family party and many were missing this year, so I am posting for them. (You know your husband comes from a large family, when you say out loud, "There will only be 17 coming this year. Yea, I know. It's sad how small this party is this year."

Here is Toothsome #4 with some of her decorations for the party.

This one is harder to see, but there is a face made of streamers on the glass.

My cute nephew hanging out and eating rice cereal.

The carving had begun.

The boys table.

My brother in law, whose wife had a baby about two weeks before, showed up late. It was great to have him there. (He doesn't look too exhausted for a new dad.)

Cute nephew again.

All of the nieces and nephews singing, "Ghost of Tam"

Toothsome #4 with her pumpkin. Toothsome #1 actually carved it for her and she added the sharpie herself. (He and she had worked on her face together for about 1/2 hour earlier in the day.)

This ended up winning, "Best Overall"--done by my oldest nephew.

The Pumpkins:

Once again, a great party.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T11:58:00.001-07:00

From,

Two cupcakes, a cockroach and Ironman.

I am the 53%

2011-10-26T10:27:00.000-07:00

In light of what is going on with Occupy Wall Street movement, I thought I should republish this post.

I am the 53%.

This is one is very personal to me and I debated about having it published for several reasons:

1. Many people had it way worse than us during school. We felt very blessed with our situation both during dental school and after. Yes, it was hard and at times, sometimes really hard but it never felt that hard. Around us, there were people doing way harder things and we always felt we were so blessed with our circumstances. Also, many (if not most) of our friends were in the same situation (most were graduate students of some sort) and there is real solidarity when going through something like that together.

2. This really exposes some very personal financial things and while a blog is indeed "putting yourself out there", I have tried to keep it pretty light and breezy. So, this is more intense stuff and I hope I don't offend by what I have written. I also don't want to come across as authority on frugal living because I am not.

3. My husband is a very private person and I try to keep him out of this blog as much as possible. This talks about "us" which means it also talks about him.

So, why am I publishing this?

1. One of my biggest concerns around me is what I view as people not using good judgement when it comes to money. I see it on the small scale on up to our government. It scares me. As in, it keeps me up at night. We need more people living within their means and doing all they can to be wise with their finances. I feel if we do it in our homes, then it can spread to a bigger scale and it can be demanded from our government officials. I recently voted against a man whom I thought was an excellent candidate in a local primary because I knew what his current salary was and then discovered he still had debt- a lot of it. With his salary, he shouldn't have debt. I feel we really need to have our financial houses in order and have tried, with my husband, to live that way.

2. Recently I have had more than one person say to me, "You have no idea what our financial struggle is like. You've never been there." I didn't say anything but sat down at the computer and wrote this because I was angry--really angry. The way my brain works, I like to write as if a 3rd person is going to read it. It think it is from years of editing other people's work. I write often but rarely submit my things to publications. My friend Tiffany, who got me to join Utah Homemakers for America, read it and said, "We should publish this." So I did, after many days of thinking about it. Again, I hope I don't offend anyone.

So, for what it is worth, here it is.

Personal Financial Responsibility by Guest Writer Janice

I met my husband when he was in his first year of dental school. He lived in the basement home of an elderly lady, whose adult children gave him cheap rent if he would daily check in on her, take her blood pressure, mow her lawn and do simple things around the house. She lived on the main floor and he was in the basement.

Early on in our dating, he took me to his “apartment” to show me where he lived. The family hadn’t really cleared out much space for him in the basement but told him, he could “carve out some space” to live down there. The basement was full of their things, from old clothes, boxes of stored items, camping gear, tools, etc. They were doing him a huge favor by providing him a roof over his head and he was always very happy about his living arrangement. He really enjoyed this elderly lady’s company, liked being able to help her and felt forever grateful the family had given him this opportunity to live very inexpensively while he was in dental school.

He slept on a sofa bed he had discovered in the basement. He was thrilled it was there because it meant he didn’t have to spend the money to buy a mattress for himself. He owned one knife, one spoon, one fork and one plate which he had purchased at a second-hand store. His cup was an old canning jar. He felt bad “intruding” on the woman’s space upstairs and he discovered down the street, about a mile from from his apartment, a church that would let him use their microwave to heat up meals. He explained to me he had taken out student loans to pay his tuition, books and dental equipment and during his short breaks between semesters, he went home (one state over) and did lab work for his dad, who was a dentist, so he could earn money to pay for food and rent.

We continued dating and it became obvious that if we got married, not only would I live in this basement with him but that I would be expected to live just as frugally. By this time, I knew how much student debt we would have by the time he graduated and I was fully on board with this frugal life style. I did have a college degree in English and found a job editing for local company that took in outsourced jobs from the local university as well as the community. Being an editor sounded glamourous to me but it didn’t pay well and we lived well below the poverty level. During our time in dental school, our dates consisted of Scrabble and Master Mind games, bike rides and occasionally car drives but that used gas we needed to get to and from work and school, so we had to be careful. Occasionally, we would go to a local discounted arcade with five dollars of quarters and play until we ran out of money. One of our happiest date moments was mastering the game, “Area 51” on one quarter. We lived on cheap food and at the time, McDonalds offered 29 cent hamburgers on Wednesday nights. We would go there, order eight hamburgers, eat three that night and save the rest for lunch and dinner the next day. We loved those hamburger nights.

During this time in dental school, friends would come over and visit and say things like, “I would never live here.” We would smile, think of the scary pile of student debt that was earning interest (he had to take out both subsidized and unsubsidized loans) and continue living. There were times when it was no fun. Times, when I would drive past the student housing complex and think, “Wow. Maybe we should go move there.” I laugh about it now because student housing was far from luxurious but it seemed like it at the time.

My husband graduated, we had our first child and we moved to Utah and he started working for and buying his father’s dental practice. We purchased a home from his grandmother who was being moved into an elderly care facility. It was in the Sugarhouse area and was a true fixer-upper. It was built in 1941 just before World War II. My husband’s grandparents had lived a frugal life and not much had been done to the home since it had been built. Our kitchen had original cabinets and 1950’s appliances. The only bathroom had a bathtub and the shower in the house was a bent pipe with a shower curtain over the basement drain. My husband’s grandfather had somehow tapped into the water supply and fashioned a shower head from some pipe in the ceiling. It was directly in front of the basement stairs and you couldn’t go downstairs while someone was showering. The basement was unfinished with the exception of one small room. The house had its original lead paint, a converted from coal to gas furnace, and no air conditioning.

Within days after moving into the house, my husband and I sat down with our finances and had an honest talk. He was making money now but he wanted the majority of his paycheck to go to buying his father’s practice so he could own it free and clear in a few years with little interest paid. We also wanted to pay back our student loan as quickly as possible. We had run the numbers and if we paid the minimum amount for our 30 year student loan, the interest would double what he had originally borrowed. Compound interest is a scary thing and so, we decided to continue our “frugal” life. We made a goal to pay back the student debt in five years instead of the 30 we had signed on for. This time it was harder. We had a child. I was home all day. We lived in a neighborhood where most people purchased fixer-uppers, and fixed them up. I remember coming home from play dates and crying because of the beautiful things people had done to their houses. We had the money to do it but instead we paid that money to debt. Again, many people said to us, “I couldn’t live this way. I would not shower in that shower. You guys are crazy--a 30-year loan is there for a reason.” Those were the nice things. Other people were more unkind and questioned my husband’s ability to provide, commented on my ugly decorating style (almost everything we owned was used), and some accused my husband of being abusive to me by forcing me to live in this fixer-upper house while he paid back “his debts.” Um, excuse me, we are married; they are our debts and we made this decision together.

Every once and awhile, I would think, “I can’t live like this.” We would have contractors come over and give us bids on a shower for the bathroom, a new oven, window coverings, etc. We would then see the price and think, “Wow. If we put that money towards our student loans, we could save on interest and pay back our debt faster. We just can't spend the money.” And, we didn’t.

I would also play silly games with myself. I would tell myself I would take my kids to McDonalds for lunch and then instead, take that cash out of my wallet and put it in our “debt jar". I did the same with new clothing purchases for me, treats at the grocery store, movie rentals, etc. At the end of the month, we would take that money and mail it in as an extra loan payment.

At the end of four years, instead of the five we had planned, we had paid back our 30 year student loan. And, the same day, we put our house up for sale. We weren’t completely crazy. :)

There could have been a million things that came up and made paying back our loans harder. We had plenty of them, (a flooded basement, needing a new roof, no insulation in our attic, a second pregnancy) but we also know we were blessed. A major medical crisis could have ruined our plans and that did happen to one of our friends. My husband’s dental practice thrived when many of our friends in similar situations did not, through no fault of their own. Owning a small business is scary and really, from month to month, we have no idea what our dental practice will do.

Life, in general can be hard and full of trials and often financial things hit people unprepared and they can’t always meet their financial goals. That said, many things can be avoided and we can live our lives in a way to limit those risks. We can save until we have an emergency fund to pay for those unexpected expenses. We can avoid debt at all costs. And if we have debt, including our home mortgages, we can work, scrimp and save to pay our debts off early. We can say no to our children and tell them they have to earn the things they are dying to have. We can meet with our children monthly and talk about finances and explain how hard we work to have the things we own. We can drop our TV cable, not have caller ID, and grow our own food. We can take our children shopping and show them the difference in price between name brands and generic brands. We can take personal responsibility and have our financial houses in order. Peace of mind often doesn’t come easy or cheap but it is worth every penny.

Fall Break, Newport was calling . . .

2011-10-24T20:18:00.000-07:00

It was Fall Break around here and in-spite of our lame trip last year, we decided to brave another trip to Newport. We LOVE Newport. Honestly, we all are happier people there.

The weather was in the in upper 60s and low 70s but it was sunny, so it was very beach friendly weather. Three great days spent at the beach.

You can see we are happy to be there.

Moments like the one below happen in Newport.

Dentist husband commented on how much better it was to be in the ocean in a wet suit. So, Toothsome #3 wanted a turn.

Another Mom happy Newport moment. They sat in the sand talking like this for over an hour.

First time boogie boarding for Toothsome #3

A trip to Newport is not complete without a trip to the Crab Cooker. Toothsome #3 loves sharks, so we had to get a picture.

The combo plate. So dang yummy.

Toothsome #1 was with us but for some reason, he didn't make it in very many pictures.

I spent the majority of the trip reading "Discovery of Witches" by Deborah Harkness. It was a great October and beach read.

Also, another great October read, "House at Riverton" by Kate Morton.

Honestly, our trips to Newport are heaven.

Ice Blocking

2011-10-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, the weather was unusually warm. My kids were playing video games inside, when I announced, "We are going ice blocking."

When I was a junior in high school, a boy (who was a year older than me) showed up at my house with a few other people and said, "We are going ice blocking. Get in the car."

So I did. It was one of my favorite high school memories. And, I wanted to teach my kids the fun of ice blocking.

Here they are at the start. Notice Dentist husband's face studying the ice blocks.

It took my kids a while to figure out the best form for ice blocking. (You must lean back slightly, and use your feet to help balance.)

They didn't realize it but they were getting great exercise going up and down the hill.

Dentist husband was not pleased with ice block shape, so immediately he started making modifications. Basically, he created two runners to help with the tracking.

Here I am showing them how it is done.

Honestly, one of the best family activities we have ever done.

(When it got dark, we picked up a pizza and went to another park and played until about 9:00 pm.)

The Alias by Mandi Tucker Slack

2011-10-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

I was asked to review this novel by Tristi Pinkston.

This novel is a fact-paced, fun read. Jacey Grayson is a divorced mother who moves to a small town in Utah to try and hide from her abusive ex-husband. There are a few twists and turns in the plot that make this a "keep on reading" type of book.

I enjoyed the character development in this novel as well as the little bits of romance mixed in with the action. The end, while not surprising was satisfying and this book was a great way to spend a rainy afternoon.

You can purchase it here. Notice the Kindle version is only $3.99

Better Late than Never

2011-10-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

One of our favorite things to do as a family is go "up the canyon". Last summer, we went at least once a week. For various reasons, we never went up this summer and then all of the sudden, it was fall and the meteorologists were predicting snow in the mountains. So, last Monday night, we finally did it.

We got a late start, and "snow in the mountains" storm was threatening, but we persisted.

The fire, at its peak. It died down quickly.

Proof that Dentist husband and I were there together. We both don't look so great but I had been deep cleaning the house all day. . .

The whole way down the canyon, the kids kept on saying, "Thank you so much. We love it up there."

Random Photos

2011-10-06T15:13:00.000-07:00

My local friends always tease me about my sun hats. This is the biggest one yet. I got it at Coolibar--an almost 8 inch brim. My kids call it my sombrero. The shirt is from Old Navy. I love their collegiate line. Notice the football game on in the background. Dentist husband and I love a good football game.

Strictly for documentation--Toothsome #4 first day of preschool.

Something about this outfit and pose made me laugh. (She picked the socks and shirt to match since they were both white with red trim.) She is my most clothes conscience child. Which really isn't saying much, since none of my kids really care at all about clothes.

11 Year Old Scout Camp Out--Back Yard Style

2011-09-29T19:20:00.000-07:00

Dentist Husband and I are the scout leaders for the 11 year olds in our ward. There is a tradition in this area that one of the camp outs in the backyard of the 11 year old scout leaders. So, this past weekend, we did it.

Here is most of the boys with Dentist husband at the start of it. Our first activity was an hour service project, picking up trash in the area.

Setting up the tent.

About 20 minutes into it, our neighbor brought this game over for the boys to play.

We had the boys cook their own steaks for dinner.

Afterwards, we had them light "pop can" fires. We went through two full boxes of matches.

Once it was dark, we played "Tron Soccer." I bought a glow stick soccer ball and about 200 glow sticks. The boys wore glow sticks on their wrists and shoes and we taped one vertically on the front of their shirt and one horizontally on their back. We had two teams, (blue and green) of four boys each. We set up a small soccer field, using red and orange glow sticks and used some cones, wrapped in red glow sticks as the goal markers. Honestly, this was incredibly fun and we played for over an hour.

Afterwards, the boys came back to our house for marshmallow roasting.

At 10:00 pm, it was lights out.

The boys slept. I didn't. I had a fear that one of the boys would wake up in the middle of the night, realize they were walking distance from their own house and walk home. So, any cough, rolling over, or noise I heard, I was up. (Dentist husband and Toothsome #1 slept outside the tent on a tarp. I was in the house, with the windows open, on the sofa.) Not one boy left the tent that night. Wish I would have known that beforehand. :)

Anyway, it was a great camp out. I have a feeling Tron Soccer is going to become an annual tradition.

Non nobis, Domine - Patrick Doyle

2011-09-25T12:12:00.000-07:00

When I was a Mormon missionary on Temple Square, I discovered this song. Almost every morning, (I am sure to my various companion's annoyance), I would listen to this while getting ready for the day. Honestly, I find this an incredibly moving piece of music. And, I am a sucker for great tenor lines and this song has it in spades. Listen to it once and then watch this below. I think Kenneth Branagh is a master of Shakespeare and this, with the music at the end makes this an almost perfect moment on screen.

Non nobis, Domine is from Psalms 115:1 "Not unto us, O LORD, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake." (King James Version)

Blog Hop

2011-09-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the September Blog Hop! Celebrate the beginning of fall with me and my blogger friends by hopping around, visiting our sites, and entering our contests! There are no limits - you can enter the contest on every blog. With over 40 blogs participating, that's over 40 prizes you could win. Just click on the links below to move on to the next blog.

On my blog, you can win …

$10 Wendy's Gift Card

Would you like to win this prize? You just need to do two things.

1. Become a follower of this blog.

2. Leave me a comment in the trail and tell me why you'd like to win this prize.

That's it! You are now entered. The contest ends on Saturday night, September 24th, at midnight MST, and the winner will be contacted shortly thereafter. Please either leave your e-mail address in the comment trail or make sure it's visible through your profile so I can contact you to tell you that you're the lucky winner.

Now go visit my other friends ...

September Blog Hop Participants

1. Tristi Pinkston, LDS Author

2. Joyce DiPastena

3. I Am A Reader, Not A Writer

4. Mandi Slack

5. Michael D. Young

6. Six Mixed Reviews

7. Pam Williams

8. Laurie Lewis

9. Kristy Tate

10. Marilyn Yarbrough

11. Stacy Coles

12. Kristie Ballard

13. Lynn Parsons

14. Pushing Past the Pounds

15. Sheila Staley

16. cindy Hogan

17. Jamie Thompson

18. Jaclyn Weist

19. Cathy Witbeck

20. Secret Sisters Mysteries

21. Tamera Westhoff

22. Tina Scott

23. Lynnea Mortensen

24. Danyelle Ferguson aka Queen of the Clan

25. Jeanette A. Fratto

26. Bonnie Harris

27. Melissa Lemon

28. Mary Ann Dennis

29. Stephanie Black

30. Jane Still

31. Janice

32. Laura Bastian

33. Tamara Bordon

34. Betsy Love

35. Maria Hoagland

36. Amber Robertson

37. Debbie Davis

38.

39. Christy Monson

40. Carolyn Frank

41. Rebecca Birkin

42. Melissa Cunningham

43. Emily L. Moir

44. Ronda Hinrichsen

45. Lisa Asanuma

46. Joan Sowards

47. Jordan McCollum

48. Diane Stringam Tolley

Learn more about September Blog Hop here.

Get The Code

This made me laugh

2011-09-16T16:51:00.000-07:00

At a recent wedding, I took a picture on my iphone of my nephew messing around with my husband. They moved right as I snapped the photo but it was a perfect "messed up shot" because I caught my 12 year making this face. I have LAUGHED OUT LOUD more than once about this photo.

What a weekend!

2011-09-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

My nephew got married over Labor Day weekend. We ended up having a ton of family staying at our house and it was a busy, and very fun time.

Here we are at the reception. We will end up using a similar one for our Christmas card photo.

Dentist husband with one of the fake mustaches provided. They had a large picture frame and these fake mustaches and someone took pictures of you posing. It was fun and different.

My kids and other cousins climbing over the water feature. This was probably NOT allowed.

My girls

Also this weekend, Toothsome #2 and my dad had their birthdays. They were born on the same day, 68 years apart.

My girls in their matching Halloween pajamas. They begged for these and I finally consented if they agreed to wear them all winter. Honestly, they look so dang cute in them!

A lot of Dance Party 2 was done in my basement. It was really fun to see my kids doing this with their older cousins.

Great weekend!