Friday, September 11, 2009
Soapboxing--Stop Defending Bad Behavior
Again, this is a soapbox, so feel free to switch to another blog. This one might really get people's opinions flowing . . .
I have recently noticed a trend on "blogland" that has me quite concerned. The trend is defending bad behavior in others.
And let's be honest about one thing in blogland. When we choose to blog, we lay open for public viewing our lives. Yes, we control what we want to share to the world at large but it is our choice to do this and we reap the consequences of doing so. If people disagree with us and leave a comment that opposes our opinions, that is a choice we make by leaving open the comments section in our blog.
Back to defending the bad behaviors of others. Let me give a few examples:
Recently I read a blog where a woman of my faith (Mormon) who openly talks about her religious convictions and is trying to get Mormon support through her blog for her Mormon themed music CD, talked about attending a wine tasting (and tasting for herself the wine) and posted pictures wearing clothes that were not in-line with our religious beliefs. I was stunned by this behavior and, obviously some other people were too, based on their comments. Immediately, people came out in defense of this woman's bad behavior and attacked the people questioning her decision to do those actions.
Another example: I read a blog where a woman spoke about her undying love of swearing. She loves doing it and she was confessing to it and wanted the whole blogging world who read her blog to know it. Again, this woman is Mormon (and proclaims it often) and again, people commented about how great it was that she loved using bad language. I'm a Mormon and I know while not officially considered a commandment , swearing is frowned upon and we are asked to refrain from doing it. Again, they (mostly Mormon people) were defending her bad behavior.
Another example in my own personal non-blogging life: While at the pool this summer, I expressed concern to a friend about a mother at our pool who was wearing swimsuits that were very revealing and no question immodest. My concern stemmed from my own daughter asking me why it was OK for this woman to do it when my daughter has been taught at church and in our home about the importance of wearing modest clothing everywhere including at the pool. My good friend immediately started defending this woman's behavior saying, "Oh, she was raised in a family that wore swimsuits like that all the time. So, she really can't be criticized."
What?! Why are people defending bad behavior? I have my theories and I have read the arguments by many, who say, "We have been told not to judge others."
Well folks, I'm not buying it. That is just not true. We are asked to judge righteously on a daily basis. Daily we are confronted with, "Is this the right thing to do?'' From what movie and TV shows we watch, to the clothing we put on, to whom we spend our time with, to what we say and how we say it, etc., we are expected to choose righteously and act accordingly. Righteous (not self-righteous) judgement is core a religious belief system. So, again, I ask, "Why are people regularly defending the bad behavior of others?"
If you don't want to judge publicly, there is no need to comment on a blog. It takes a huge amount of courage to speak up and many of us who blog, "spy" on other people's blogs without ever leaving comments regardless of content. Blog comments should never be mean or intentionally hurtful to the blogger but they should also not defend bad behavior. We are all "working out our own salvation" at our own pace and belief systems and live imperfect lives. But all in all, we know right from wrong and know better than to defend wrong when we see it. We shouldn't validate bad behavior, in blogland or in our private lives, plain and simple. This has got to stop.
Off my soapbox.