Saturday, June 20, 2009

I've Got to Quit Buying Non-alcoholic Beer

Dentist husband loves non-alcoholic beer.  He has never tasted the real stuff in his life (so he claims and I believe him) and he developed a taste for it when he was little and his dad would buy it when they went to the local team's club baseball games.  He says the flavor always brings back fun outdoor memories with his father.  

Fast forward to dental school.  We were married and poor and were always looking for free things to do on the weekends.  We lived close to Golden, CO where Coors beer is brewed and they offered a really nice, free tour, which we took a lot because it was free and it gave us something to do.  At the end, you got two free glasses of beer (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) or lemonade.  I always got the lemonade and dentist husband got the non-alcoholic beer.    

So, now, for special occasions, I buy dentist husband non-alcoholic beer, Coors Brand .  It says non-alcoholic on it but it is written quite small and it looks just like the real stuff.  I buy it maybe four times a year--his birthday, Father's Day, our anniversary and the Super Bowl.  Every time I do, this is really what always happens.  

I put it in my cart, and then proceed to run into people I know.  I go to the store sometimes three times a week and never see people I know.  I put a six pack of non-alcoholic beer in my cart and I run into the stake president, the gossipy self-righteous neighbor, the young impressionable teenage girl or the family of one of my Cub scouts.  It never fails.  

So, today being the Saturday before Father's Day, I put the Coors in my cart and run into THREE people I know.  This time it is the young impressionable teenage girl, the 1st counselor in the Relief Society Presidency and the lady in our church who is a spiritual giant who when she teaches a class, people skip out of their other callings to listen to her. 

Maybe I should take it as sign and quit buying it.  I think I am developing a reputation for something I am not doing.   


Gabriela said...

Very catchy title. :)

That's hilarious. Maybe you should do it late at night-but then it'd probably look even worse if you were to run into someone.

I've never bought it. I do like the taste of real beer (from the non-mormon portion of my life, of course) and when I get of wiff of it, I do kind of long for it a little bit. But not enough to try near-beer.

Jane Anne said...


Mumsy said...

I just think it's funny that they ask you for ID when you buy it in UT. I think the penchant for non-alcoholic beer runs in the family. My husband likes Odoul's or Kaiser. :)

(I never see anyone I know, so I'm still buying it! Ha!)

David said...

that is SO typical.

i've got to say, yuck, though. beer sounds icky. i remember in french class in 8th grade we had non alcoholic wine once and i HATED it.

Anonymous said...

That's funny. I should try putting it in the cart and seeing how many people I run into. By the way, I ran into someone who looked like she could be your sister over the weekend. I even asked her, Do you have a sister named Janice? But she doesn't. But she looked like she could be related to you. Funny.

ash said...

I still can't figure out how they like near-beer. Even though I don't like it, I do have great memories tied to the stuff. You may have to start going to the store during the early morning or late, late evening.

love.boxes said...

You could be making beer bread... which you should if you still have part of a six pack anyway.. cause it's yummy! No one gets drunk on that.. just fat.

Alissa said...

One of our friends is from Belgium, and before he joined the church drinking was a major part of his life. So he would always have Odoul's on hand. I thought it was kind of gross.