Sunday, August 2, 2009

Soapboxing--Not about Politics this time

Many of you know that I love the website Goodreads. I love how I can keep track of the books I read, read my friend's reviews, etc. When a person types in a book, the website automatically shows your friend's reviews of the book, if they have read it.

Recently, I typed in the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura. All of my friends gave it one or two stars. I am fine with people liking or not liking a book, but it got me wondering why they would all give it such a low opinion. I read the book and while fortunately, it didn't change my life dramatically, it did remind me of the need to take care of my husband. There is nothing "radical" in this book. The book is just a good reminder that as woman, we need to be appreciative and nice to our husbands. This isn't radical stuff. The following is the review I wrote about the book after having just read it:

"As a woman who is raising sons and married to a man, I am thrilled there are books like this that defend nice treatment of men. Men are attacked in society daily and we have just become accustomed to it--often not even seeing it when it is right in front of us. I often look at awe at the unkind treatment I see wives give to their husbands but at the same time, complain about the same treatment given to their sons by their daughter-in-laws. I can freely state that at times, I have been less than an ideal wife to my husband and I appreciated the reminder this book gave me."

I wonder, again, why this book has been so trashed by woman. Has feminism taken us so far as to be unkind, uncaring and unthoughtful of our husbands? Isn't that what feminism was fighting for, for themselves--caring, kind, thoughtful treatment by men? Have woman turned into the men they didn't like and rallied against?

If so, I am scared for my boys. On TV recently, I noticed how many TV shows portray the men as idiots, while the woman are portrayed as put together, come in and give reason and a calm voice to a marriage. I know in my own personal life that is not true. My husband and I are both reasonable, thoughtful and intelligent people. We take care of each other and look out for each other's needs, often at some sacrifice for our own needs.
We both sacrifice for our children and try to be a good example to them of what a good marriage can be like. We don't do it perfectly, but we work hard at it.

As a woman I would ask that we be nice to our husbands and be an example to our sons and daughters. And, let us teach our daughters to be nice to all of the men in their lives--their brothers, their fathers, their boyfriends, their male peers, etc. And, of course visa versa for our sons as well. But that said, the men get constant reminders of that--look around and you will see. Look around again and start noticing, no one is speaking to the girls about this subject. Instead they are told the opposite. Emasculating our men can only harm all of us.

10 comments:

Queen Elizabeth said...

Very well said.

Alissa said...

I will proudly stand on this soap box with you. The book is still on my list 'to read' (well, not my official GoodReads list, but the one in my head) but I agree with the concept.

Britt said...

Can I fit on your soap box too?

love.boxes said...

Amen! Read that one.. good common sense.

David said...

i've noticed it too, especially in commercials, how the husband is always portrayed as goofy or dumb, and the wife is the one who has her act together. what's up with that!?

David said...

by the way, i like your political soapboxing, it gives me a chance to comment and have an outlet to express what a disaster Obama is. And that is Disaster with a capital D. Actually, a capital everything, DISASTER.
I even think he's not a very nice person. He's betrayed his true self a few times, when he lets his guard down and we can see past the carefully crafted public persona. I don't like what I see. If I was that cop crowley, i would have declined thant invitation to the white house. It just gave Obama a chance at a public relations opportunity. He used the situation for himself, this wasn't about racial healing or teachable moments, it was about Obama.

Mister Waldrip said...

It's funny (in a not so funny way) when that book came up for auction in my book club NO ONE would even bid on it. Someone finally tood it saying they were going to keep it just to have around when the MIL came to visit.

I read it and felt like you do-nothing radical-just treating your husband with respect. It's actually beneficial for the wife to have the husband happy. Go figure.

(of course, if you had been there you probably would have stood up to all my book club friends, but I didn't. I'm a chicken. Oh well.)

Gabriela said...

whoops. I'm signed in as Guapo. I promise it's me, Gabs, and not Guapo pushing the "be nice to your husband" book. :)

jennie said...

I'm with you JAnice. Thanks for the post!

Lisa said...

I love, love, love that book (it's sits on my bookshelf). And I think that Dr. Laura is always right on!