I just got back from the pool. I was there with a bunch of ladies from my Stake to celebrate a friend's birthday--most of them wearing swimming suits well beyond normal modesty standards--some frighteningly so. I overheard a conversation from a woman I consider a true friend that REALLY upset me about modesty. Her theory is that girls shouldn't have to dress modestly until they are atleast at BYU or married. She then bragged about only owning one one-piece swimming suit and since she had it on and I saw it, hardly qualified as a one-piece suit. For the sake of not alienating everyone around me, I kept my mouth shut, which is very uncommon for me. But, I live among these people, my kids go to school with and are friends with these people's children and so I kept my mouth shut. Maybe I am a coward. I don't know but left the pool sad and disheartened. As to not re-write it out, here is what I wrote about this same subject, last summer.
Just one new thought: All of these woman are married and know what goes on in the minds of boys and men once they hit 14ish. Since they are married, who are they wearing these outfits for? Whose attention are they seeking? And if it is for all men 14 and older, isn't that some form of inappropriate flirtation? Anyway, I certainly was not impressed and don't know how to interact with these woman.
6 comments:
I am so with you on this one. I just do not get it. I am floored by some of the clothes that I see on women. They are being watched like hawks too.
Thanks for expressing your feelings on this subject. I am going to have a friend come and check this out. She is a huge fan of modesty and has seen the decline first hand on a weekly basis.
See you later Janice, and thanks for keeping the standards up. My daughter is a huge fan of modesty too.
I hear ya. If you don't teach your girls to be modest from when they are little, what hope do you have when they are teenagers???
Love your crappy mom post-I could write a few of those myself.
Totally agreed. This is one of the reasons why I'm glad I don't live in UT anymore. Just tired of the hypocrisy (ever sat and watched brides walk out of the SLake Temple?--you can tell who is truly honoring the covenants they just made, and who obviously thinks they only count unless you're wearing an immodest wedding dress. I used to work in schools in UT--it's unbelievable some of the excuses supposed "good" Mormon mommies made for their slut like dressed daughters! And never mind the lessons they are (or aren't) teaching their sons!!! It truly disgusts me! I mean, I stress out if my long enough skirts blow up a little in the wind!
14 year old boys? Man, try more like 11. No offense, but the situation you just described is one of the reasons why I can't stand going to Utah. The LDS people there drive me insane.(That is a generalization, but you get my point.)
And you know that if you would have said something, then you would have just been someone for them to talk about when you weren't around. It is a tough situation.
Its too bad that they can't set a better example for the young girls at the pool, and at the same time, not put on a show for the boys, who no doubt did notice it.
And that is the dumbest theory about modesty that I have ever heard. They might as well say, that their child can drink and smoke and do whatever as long as they are cleaned up before they leave for the MTC.
OK, that is my 2 (or 3) cents. Good Day.
Totally agreed and it outrages me to no end. Really sad part is they're breeding these little ones to be just like them and so the viscious cycle continues.
To me, this is a major benefit of living outside of Utah.
We were just at the temple today (Bountiful - we're in town - want to get together?) and I saw a bride go by and I thought, "Hmmm, wonder how she's justifying that one in her mind!?" (I asked my husband if I had a better physique, maybe I'd be more tempted to show it off? Good thing we don't have to worry about THAT one!)
I couldn't agree more!! Really!! We just had a lesson in our ward-- done by the stake-- on this very topic! we have a huge problem in my ward of women wearing things that are TOO tight, but thinking that because they have their garments on, then it must be modest.
I am in YW, and it was interesting to hear the YW talk about this... we were driving by a woman, who had on a tight shirt... and the YW were all Hey! I have that shirt! Then they proceeded to talk about all the women, their tight clothes and the fact that they wished the women would realize they are "OLD" and should stop shopping in the Juniors department, and start wearing more appropriate clothes. This was done completely on their own... I think they forgot I was in the car!
The thing is, these women are dressing like this (as stated by a woman in my ward) because it makes them feel good, and their husbands like it.Just because they are married, she said, doesn't mean she should dress frumpy. She likes to look sexy for her husband.
Well. The problem with that is 2fold-- Why would their husbands WANT them to dress like that?? and 2nd the boys ARE talking about them, and they just aren't saying how spiritual they think the women are... (have you heard the boys talking about M.I.L.F's??-- think about it... you'll get it, and its gross with a capital G!!)
These women have no idea the struggles that men have, and what types of thoughts THEIR clothes are putting into the minds of men. Just because they look righteous (the men) doesn't mean they are having righteous thoughts!
I think women have a tendency to think that modesty is for the YW... that once they go through the temple, modesty no longer applies, as long as they are wearing their garments, they are ok. Oh how wrong they are!! Women in my ward like to mow the lawn & do yard work in their swimsuits.
Yes. they. do.
Is that modest?? Is wearing clothing so tight it leaves nothing up to the imagination??
Sheesh. I could go on and on and on... but this comment is long enough.
Move over honey, cause I'm totally joining you on your soapbox!
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